I'm just someone trying to cope with all the weird stuff in life. Sunday, October 18, 2009 Frank's Ghost: Part 1 I’ve been thinking about ZC’s request for more about the phenomenology of ghosts, that is, details about how they appear, their behavior, how they are different from living people and things like that. I would have to start by saying that ghosts are as individual as any living person is. It could take a lifetime of trying to make sense of my experiences to even scratch the surface of ghost phenomenology. But I thought that I could start by sharing this particular experience of a ghost that I encountered in Jan 2009. I had written up this account as a paper at the request of a researcher friend, but because there were so many personal details of both the ghost and myself that I didn’t want to openly share online, only a few people have been given access to the original paper. I’ve edited out much of the personal information while trying to keep in what I could about the way that I experienced Frank as a ghost. The experiences occurred over a three day period early in Jan 2009. Day 1 The day I met Frank started off as a trip into the city to have coffee with old friends of my husband’s. One of these friends was a retired infantry officer. Much of the conversation revolved around military concerns, particularly the mission in Afghanistan. My husband hadn’t seen his friends in many years, and the visit went on much longer than originally planned. It was an enjoyable time. Having served in the military myself, I had a lot in common with my husband’s friends. It was a good day spent with my husband for the most part. I didn’t start to notice a ghost until much later that day. I was curled up in a favorite chair in our living room when I first noticed a presence. I couldn’t see anything, but I was so cold and I felt terrible. I wanted to cry. I kept seeing flashes of these horrible images. I had no idea what to do. I ended up sending the following correspondence to an experienced medium who had been trying to help me learn to cope with such experiences: Jan 10, 2009 10:36 PM I seem to have found a ghost. I can smell him very strongly. And I'm really cold, and there are images. He smells like smoke, and maybe after shave or some kind of strong smelling cleaner. It smells bad. He was so cold when he died. And alone. His images are distorted and dark and difficult to understand. Like a scary bad dream. I can't get a name or words from him. It's just all cold and scary and hurt. The images he sees aren't like what I see. What he sees doesn't look real, its like a nightmare and makes no sense. When I see weird stuff, it is almost more real than real. It has great clarity and it's beautiful even when I don't understand its meaning. It's like I found someone at the other end of the spectrum. I'm not sure what to do. I'm just trying to create as much light as I can. Maybe it will help him see, or communicate or something. I feel sad for him. Any suggestions would be appreciated. My first impression of this presence was that maybe he was a street person. Someone retired from the military who ended up living on the street and was still having nightmares about the battlefield. He seemed like such a mess. The medium I contacted later wrote back saying that he was probably trying to get something across to me, but that he didn’t know how. She picked up that he didn’t die of natural causes and that he needed help. She also suggested writing down any communications and looking for a pattern to emerge. I didn’t have much luck trying to communicate with the presence at first. In frustration I sent the following message to a Spiritualist friend: Jan 11, 2009 12:57 AM I don't know what to do with this ghost. I posted about him in the {forum}. I think he was a homeless man. He died in a hospital, but he was so cold from being outside. He just can't get warm. He won't talk to me. I've been trying to fill the room with light, to see if I can help him see. Everything is so dark to him. I feel so sad and alone. My friend said he would send healing and guides. He suggested that I pray, but I’m not really comfortable with anything of a religious nature, so I didn’t try that. It didn’t help that I was feeling so cold and sad that I really didn’t want to try anything. I just wanted the ghost to go away. I don’t know if it was the suggestion that my friend made that healing would be sent, or whether I saw something real, but I started to notice very pretty white sparkles of light filling the room around me. The presence still felt very afraid. I tried asking for a friend or relative to come forward to help the ghost. I mentioned this to my Spiritualist friend: Jan 11, 2009 02:25 AM I asked for a relative to come and help him. Someone is here, I think an aunt. He can hear me but he doesn't want to talk to anyone. He thinks I'm a hallucination and he shouldn't talk to me. His aunt is trying too, but he thinks the same of her. I suggested that he look for a light to follow. That was something suggested in material given to me by a psychic I know. He said I'm the brightest thing in the room and he doesn't believe in angels anyway. I tried talking to the ghost to calm it down. I wanted to get through to the presence, but he was so confused. He told me, “There are no fucking angels”. He was so freaked out and angry at that point. He ended up leaving soon afterwards. I sent this to my Spiritualist friend after he had gone: Jan 11, 2009 02:33 AM He left. And I still feel like crap, so I'm guessing this isn't going well. The aunt is gone too. I hope she is looking out for him. I'm going to get some sleep. Maybe things will look better in the morning. Thanks for your help. I guess this will teach me to stay out of the city (I went into town to visit friends and picked up a ghost along the way). I don't get many street people in this area. I hope things get better for him. Maybe his head will clear and he'll find his way. My Spiritualist friend responded that he would continue to send me healing. By then I had started to notice a second presence. I really wasn't very happy about that. I decided that I was just too tired and upset to try dealing with any more ghosts at that point, so I called it a night. Posted by Sandy at {1:06 PM} {[icon18_edit_allbkg.gif] } 5 comments: {[b16-rounded.gif] } {anonymous} said... Hi Sandy, You wrote: "He suggested that I pray, but I’m not really comfortable with anything of a religious nature, so I didn’t try that." and "He said I'm the brightest thing in the room and he doesn't believe in angels anyway." See a pattern here? You've been wondering why someone with your lack of enthusiasm has the abilities you do. The answer may be that your personal characteristics help you relate to people (both living and in spirit) with beliefs and attitudes that are similar to your own. Your lack of enthusiasm may help you to relate to people who are not particularly spiritual. Your scientific training may help you relate your experiences in an objective and dispassionate way that is more acceptable to other scientists than if you wrote from a mystical or spiritual perspective. The other side needs advocates from different walks of life to best relate to people from different walks of life. {October 18, 2009 8:51 PM } {[icon_delete13.gif] } {[b16-rounded.gif] } {Craig} said... Looking forward to part 2. I am sort of rooting for his acceptance of his 'immortality' if you will. I have read that it can take some, quite a bit of time, but that, in the end, no one is forgotten. Still, to see anyone in such suffering, whether they are still housed within the flesh or not... {October 19, 2009 5:25 PM } {[icon_delete13.gif] } {[blank.gif] [100_3983.jpg]} {Sandy} said... Anonymous, Are you by any chance a therapist? I find it strange to read over the accounts I've written in my journal or written up for others. It becomes hard to believe that it ever happened after a bit of time has passed. I'm having a really bad day in regards to seeing ghosts today. I know that there are good parts to it, both for me and for the ghosts. I just have to read these past accounts to see that. But I'm still crying about seeing ghosts today. I don't want to be cured though. But I do feel like crying. {October 20, 2009 12:02 AM } {[icon_delete13.gif] } {[b16-rounded.gif] } {anonymous} said... No, I'm not a therapist, but if I was, I would say that I think you would benefit the most from understanding that your problems are not caused by seeing spirits but from being persecuted for being "different" in school when you were young, by your first husband, and maybe in other situations you haven't written about. That persecution has affected you and even if you stopped seeing spirits it would still have it's effects in other ways - until you dealt with it. If your councilor is trained to deal with that type of problem, I think that should be the focus of your work with him. Having said all the above, I would also say that in my own life I have found that nutrition has a much larger effect on my emotions than outside events. As bizzare as this may seem it is true for me. If my head is not right because I deficient in something in my diet, then things around me seem wrong - but it isn't the conditions in my environment - it is really my diet that is the problem. No mental technique like talk-therapy, meditation, or positive thinking can fix a bad diet. Anything you consume that causes cravings, is addicting, or has an emotional effect that requires more and more consumption to get the same effect is messing with your brain. When your brain is not working right it can mess up your emotions, neurotransmitter, and receptor levels. Sometimes just eating a small amount of the right food can make things right but it can take a long time to get your brain working optimally if receptor levels are affected. It takes a lot of experimenting to figure out what foods are helpful. Some otherwise healthy foods maybe harmful if you eat too much but if you cut them out totally it causes problems in other ways and you have to notice that and then figure out how much you need. Figuring out what works for you is a long and complicated process and it's easy to make mistakes about what foods have what effects. You have to do controlled experiments and repeat them to make sure you are not confusing something in your life situation that might effect your emotions with the effects of changing your diet. There isn't a lot of information about this on the internet and some of what is there is either wrong or not right for everyone. One article I recommend is: { http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/what_is_hypo.html } The home page is here: { http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au } {October 20, 2009 8:51 AM } {[icon_delete13.gif] } {[blank.gif] [100_3983.jpg]} {Sandy} said... Anonymous, I do spend a lot of time with my counselor going over why I feel like I am being "bad" when I do anything psychic. Mostly he tries to get me to think about the times when being the way I am was helpful. I think he wants me to know that it's OK to not want to see ghosts when I'm having a really bad experience with them. But I have to acknowledge the good experiences too. {October 20, 2009 9:32 AM } {[icon_delete13.gif] } {Post a Comment} {Newer Post} {Older Post} {Home} Subscribe to: {Post Comments (Atom)} About Me {[My Photo]} {Sandy } {View my complete profile} {[icon18_wrench_allbkg.png] } Who am I? I'm a grad student working on a PhD in Earth Sciences. I'm also a NDEr who has had some rather odd experiences that I don't really understand very well. I'm pretty much stuck between two worlds, both figuratively speaking and literally. I thought it might help to have a place to vent. A place where I can say waking up sucks without alerting the noetic police and where I can talk about ghosts without being attacked by disbelieving skeptics. Truthfully though, it’s OK if you think that I’m nuts. http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:bc8XihAabScJ:sandstonesquarry.blogspot.com/2009/10/franks-ghost-part-1.html